Ranting and Raving!

Its just been a day for me to have a pity party. I look around at people and see what they have and just want it so much. I see couples holding hands and looking so in love, I see people with little children and I want both of those things. I see people who are not good people and do not care for their kids and I wonder why they have them and I do not. I see people who make bad choices and mess up their lives yet they are still married!. All I want or have ever wanted is to be married, be a wife and mother. I know I am not perfect and maybe I should be doing something different in my life but why is it that others get this and I can not have it. I know I am not the only one who feels that way and yeah I am only 25 but that's not my point today. I just want this one thing, I do not need to be rich or have every little thing anyone could ever ask for all I want is a family of my own.

You know I think that and then I can not help but think of what I do have and what others are going through that I am blessed that I do not have to go through. I have a great job, a wonderful family and super friends.

I have a friend who did get married had a set of twins one of which spent a lot of time in the hospital and then her husband left her to raise them on her own. I am blessed that I do not have that to deal with.
I have two cousins who had babies and lost them. They are good people and it has been a hard thing. I am blessed that I do not have that to deal with. (my heart goes out to them)
I have a friend who got married and shortly there after found out she had cancer. She is a good person and for now the cancer is in remission and she is expecting her first baby. But still I am blessed not to have that (cancer) to deal with.
I have a neighbor who got married had two kids and when she was expecting her third they found out her oldest was autistic. Her husband left her, he couldn't handle it. She is not remarried to a wonderful man who had two kids and they now have one together (that makes 6) But I am blessed that I have not had that to deal with.
I have other friends that have had trials that I feel blessed that I did not have those to deal with.

I am not saying I have not had trials or that my feelings are not important because I have had trials and I will continue to long to be and wife and mother.

I guess we all have days when we feel like we just want to crawl in a hole somewhere until things go the way we want but I guess I just need to tell myself to look around and see what I do have and what I am blessed that I do not have to deal with.

Anyway that's the end of my ranting and raving!

Stupid Rabbit!

Definetly not a good mom! All eight babies died. And I for sure am not a good mother rabbit I tried to bottle feed three of them and they all died. Kind of crappy. Oh well such is life!

Bunnies!

My Rabbit, Cuddle Bunny, had 8 babies last night. Way excited.

More Alpaca Pictures!

Miss Danae is the biggest of our girls. She will have a baby in September! We are so excited!

This is Dominic he is gorgeous. I will get a bigger picture of him on here later!

OK so these are not alpacas! Just Aunt Heather, Colby Mommy (Angela) and Chase being crazy!

Aren't they cute! Cooper (back) and Woody (front) are two of our first four alpacas. In the back ground you can see Zoom-Zoom also one of the first four. Primo is the other of the Fab Four. He is the one in the picture with me at the first of my last post!

More Woody, Cooper and Primo (At least his back!)

I will continue to post more pictures daily. I hope you enjoy looking at these funny creatures as much as we do. They are so fun.

PICTURES!

Here are finally some random pictures in no particular order!

I was reluctant to post this picture but oh well here it is. This is me and my nephew Colby With my favorite alpaca Primo. (I will post more alpaca pictures later!)

Silly Daddy thinks people are scared of him. Yeah he wishes!

My beautiful Mom!

My one and only brother James with the BB gun! This is a rare site, normally its his bow, which we are pretty sure is attached and would take surgery to remove!

My sister Angela, Her husband Clay and their little cowboys Colby and Chase!

This is Heidi and a friend of hers. She is growing up!

Can you believe this is Heather. Isn't she pretty.(she always was but she has changed alot since high school) My lovely sister!

These are my crazy nephews that I love very much!

This is our ham Chase! He is a very animated child.

This is cheesy little Colby! (Put them together and you get ham and cheese!)

This is my little Bug! She looks a little crazy in this picture I will have to add different pictures later!

And FINALLY this is Karrie and our little Norman!

Hope you enjoyed there will be more to come!

Little Baby Alpaca!

Well hopefully I will get pictures on here tonight. My Moms alpaca finally had her baby last Saturday so we were able to go get them on Monday. He is so Cute now if we could only decide on a name. Also this weekend I bought another horse. His name is Charlie. Hopefully my post tonight will be full of pictures. Got to go for now!

ABOUT TIME!

I figured it was about time I posted again. Not that many people read my blog but oh well. Life is good! I count my blessings daily that I have a job, loving family, friends and the Gospel in my life. I think about all of those things and where I would be without them and it makes me crazy. I have a friend whose family lives far away and they do not visit often because she joined the church and they are slightly anti-LDS. She says they still love her but its not the same. They do not support her lifestyle or the decisions shes making in how and where to raise her family. How hard it must be for her. I think about all those who right now, by no fault of their own, have found themselves out of work. That makes we thankful that I have a stead job for a good company. Then there are people who have no friends, either by choice or circumstance. I feel for those people and any time I see one I try to befriend them. You learn so much from friends that not having any you miss out on so many experiences. Its true that family is the most important relationship but friends are also important. Then I think of people who do not have the knowledge of the Gospel. In 3 days it will mark 6 years since my Grandpa died. If I did not know that I would see him again and that this life is not the end I would go crazy. I love him so much and if I thought death was the end it would hurt so much worse. Do not get me wrong I miss my Grandpa but I think knowing what I know makes it easier than if I didn't know the truth. True, I do not know what it would feel like if I did know know the truth but I can imagine and I do not want to go there. I am so thankful for all my blessings.

Anyway enough of the deep thoughts. (Maybe not so deep but its as deep as I go!) Life is good. I am waiting on a Rabbit to have babies hopefully she will have them by the time I get home today. We are also waiting for one of the female alpaca's my Mom bought to have her baby. We can not go get them until the baby is a week old so we are trying to wait patiently but she is three and a half weeks late. Now Alpacas can have their babies either 30 days early or 30 days late so she only has a few days left. Hopefully she will have her baby today. We keep teasing my Mom that the baby is not coming because its a boy and she wants it to be a girl. So she has stopped calling it a she in hopes that it will come! Girls are better for business but the boys are cute to.

Well enough for today. I will post pictures of our alpacas as soon as I get my laptop fixed. By the way all friends and family are welcome to come check them out in person. We would love to show them off to you. Or just come over for a visit we like that to.

Funny story!

OK so its more of a scary story turned funny. I got home from work on Wednesday and went about doing my chores as normal. Well it came time to feed the horses.... Well in order to get them their grain I have to climb over the fence and pour it in the feeder. So I climb the fence, talking to the horses the entire time, I get over the fence just in time to see the horses foot coming at my face I ducked and backed up but he still got me right in the forehead. It really could have been worse. So I went in the house and my sister was like are you OK so I told her want happened. She started to laugh. It did not seem to bad then, I got very nauseous and dizzy. My sister, who works in the ER, was like I think you need to go to the ER. I tried to tell her I was fine but finally gave in and went. He told me I do have a brain! Finally proof. Anyway I had a slight concussion. It could have been so much worse and I am grateful that it wasn't. So that's my funny story. The sad part is I didn't eve get a bruise. I was so mad. All that pain and no bruise. Obviously I do not bruise easily. Anyway so that's my story.

As for other happenings I got some rabbits. We are going to breed them and eat their babies. I know it sounds morbid but its pretty tasty. We also bought baby chickens that when they get big enough we will eat them. Oh and my mom is going to get some girl alpacas! We already have 4 boys that we love but without girls we can not make our herd grow. We are looking forward to getting them here. One is going to have a baby any day now and one is due in September and finally the third one will not have a baby until next year. We are also getting two more boys. You might ask what in the world do you do with alpaca's. Well you shear them and use their fiber to make things. Kind of like a sheep but alpaca fiber is much finer and softer than wool. You also breed them and sell their babies. No we will not be eating the alpacas.

Well that's all I have time for today. Have a great weekend.

Update!

Hana is doing better. She is home from the hospital but with a feeding tube. Katies brother Louis and his girlfriend just had a baby girl they named Biona and the Katies Sister Amy jsut had a little girl they named Brooklyn. So now Aunt Marilyn has 5 grandkids 4 girls and 1 boy. Also thier other sister Jeri got married on Valentines day. My mom is a little jealous because our family has stopped growing for the moment. Angela can not have any more kids and Heather and I are just having bad luck with guys. They only ones we find are jerks or just not interested. Oh well when the time it right it will happen. Well I better get back to work. Have a great Easter!

Please Pray For Hana & Katie!

My cousin Katies baby Hana is not doing good. She was born with Aicardi Symdrome and was not expected to live outside the womb. She has lived for over a year now but is now at Primary Childrens Hospital and not doing well at all. The worst thing about Aicardi Syndrome is it is very rare and they do not know alot about it. They do know things can change for them very quickly they can go from being ok to being in a dier condition. I ask anyone who might be reading this blog (which may not be very many but every prayer helps) to pray for her and her family. I know we can not change Gods will but I know also that with prayer if something does happen to this blessed little spirit we can make it easier on her family. Katie and her husband have had a hard year. First Hana was born and then their house started falling down and then her husband got laid off. Her husband has now found work and they have found solutions to their house problem but this past year has been a hard one. Please pray for them and keep them in your thoughts. Katie is a strong girl and this has only made her stronger but she can not do this on her own! Her and the rest of her family need your prayers and your faith to cope with this difficult situation. Thank you!

LONG TIME NO BLOG!

Well its been a while since I got on here so a quick update. Work, work and more work oh yeah and I had my wisdom teeth pulled. That was painful! Actually i had 10 teeth pulled. I had all four wisdom teeth my four very back teeth and then two more I broke a while ago, in a crazy football game, that I never got fixed. I have been told several times that one day the four back ones would have to come out because believe it or not my mouth is small. I know that hard for some of you to swallow but its true. Anyway the swelling is gone and now I feel great. Just after the dentist appointment my sister came over with my nephews and i told them I would play with them when I felt better! Well they held me to that. They came over this last weekend and boy did we play. We built a fort, went on a hike, went on a picnic jumped on the trampoline and just played and played. They had so much fun and so did I. My teeth were causing my so much pain before that I didn't realize how much better I would feel after getting them taken care of. Anyway I am glad spring is finally peeking through the clouds. Finally getting to spend more time outside with the animals and working on the garden. Anyway my time is up! See you next blog!

Update!

So like I said the initial date went very well. However, some of the things he told me were lies. Like that he is an active member of the Church, he doesn't drink and that he was not recently engaged. Well all of those are lies. He is not active and he does drink and he was recently engaged and she broke it off when he was caught with someone else. I must say its for the best though. He was a major city boy (even afraid of horses) and then there is me who is totally country. I love anything to do with being outside and I have a horse that I love to ride. Needless to say we will not be going out again. I got all of this wonderful information from a nosey neighbor whom I love dearly. She and her family moved in next door a few years ago and when we heard they were moving in we were disappointed because that meant a family member (literally) would be moving away. Well it has been wonderful. They get along great with our family and I love their kids. Shes like a sister and she was concerned because she had heard some things about him so she asked the sister to the girl he was engaged to. She told her things about him and she relayed them to me. I must say I am grateful for her concern! So I was just thinking its funny how life works out. I mean we look toward certain events but they really never work out the way we expect them to. Sometimes, like in the date situation, they work out worse than expected and sometimes, like the new neighbor, they work out better than expected. Either way they work out it always turns out to be the best for you at that point in your life. Somtimes we don't see it that way at the time but looking back I think we appreciate the trials and the circumstances that we are given. I believe thats what makes us who we are and shapes us into the people we become.

Not So Bad!!

OK so the blind date was not so bad! Actually it went very well. At least I think it did. You all know that I am not a big talker at first I have to break out of my shell. Well by the end of the night my shell had started to break but I really did not talk much. He probably thinks I'm the most boring person ever. I hope he gives me another chance to show him the real me. He said he had a good time and would like to hang out again so I hope he meant it. He is a really nice guy, cute, sweet (he says hes a jerk but I didn't see it) a big tease and just alot of fun. So thats how that went!

Valentines Day

What is up with Valentines Day? Actually this Blog is more about Blind Dates than Valentines Day itself. In my life I have gone on two blind dates neither have gone well at all. (OK so I do have to correct myself I have gone on three blind dates one of them was not so bad.) So a friend of mine calls and wants me to go with her brother to a Valentines Dance and even though I swore I would never go on another blind date I said yes. Now I trust this friend and she says he just wants to go as friends not really looking for anything more so no big deal.... OK so maybe it is a big deal the guy calls me to kind of introduce himself (good idea) well AJ, being the bright girl I am, totally blows the conversation. I was at work and anyone who knows me knows I do not like to talk on the phone anyway and so it was just kind of strange. Anyway I did not do alot of talking and what I did say may have come off as stupid. (I have a tendency to sound dumb when I talk on the phone.) So my worst fear is that he will think I am dork and decide before we even go that he is not going to have a good time and it ends badly. I sure hope not but if thats what happens like I said in my last blog everything happens for a reason! Happy Valentines Day!

Everything for a Reason!

I have come to the conclusion that everything happens for a reason. I knew that the big things that happen in our lifes happen for a reason but I am talking about small everyday things. For example something as small as getting food on your clothes and having to change them before you leave. You never know when that could have saved your life. I know it sounds corny but think about it! God is all knowing. He can help us avoid catastrophy or even avoid us stubbing our toes if he wants to. I have also come to the realization that God is in control. He will bless us if we do whats right and choice the right path and he will not bless us if we don't choice the right path. Does this mean that someone who may not make the right choices will have a miserable life? No! It just means that we are happier when we receive blessings from our Father in Heaven. Also sometimes there are two paths that can be taken neither one is better than the other they both look to be equally wonderful. At this point neither plan looks like the wrong choice but obviously we can not take them both so whats the answer then. Well this goes back to the fact that God is all knowing. We pray and he will guide us in the direction we should go. The importance of having a good relationship with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is beyond our understanding but it should be the most important thing in our life. If it is I believe everything else in our lives will work out and we will be able to deal with anything that comes out way!

My Day!

My day so far... I got up got dressed and came to work. I went to the Dentist!!!!!!! Yikes! I hate going to the dentist, I am totally terrified of them. But we have to do things we don't want to do. Of course I got bad news I have to have a few teeth pulled. Luckily he offers sedation! Yes that means I will get to sleep through it all and not remember any of it. Am I like totally lucky or what!? In my opinion that is the only way to have your teeth worked on. It's amazing what we do to avoid pain and fear. I was talking with one of my friends and she was like I would be more affraid of the sedation than the work getting done. I dunno I guess it's a matter of opinion. I am still at work. As for tonight I will probably go home eat dinner, go to the gym work out and then go home and go to bed. How exciting is that?! Kind of matches my life not alot of excitement but its my life and I love it!

January 30

So this is my first post and its a little strange. I am not sure what to put on here. I am sure that as time goes by I will be able to come up with something. That first step into anything always seems to be the hardest. I actually started this after reading Steiners Blog. Thanks Dusti! Anyway, I hope I can stay in touch with more people this way. Thanks AJ